TRAILER TANTRUM: Sonic the Hedgehog.

No.

Just no.

Look, I get it. Paramount is jonesing for a new IP driven franchise. They had success with TRANSFORMERS and G.I. JOE. So why not make a film that’ll appeal to kids and aging Gen-Xs?

Still, no.

And look, it’s been a while since Jim Carrey’s done a broad as barn door comedy role and even in bad movie (I’m looking at you, BATMAN FOREVER!.) he’s enjoyable to watch. And James Marsden is one of those rare leading men who has a unexpected freaky edge and rarely gets the opportunity to let it come out to play. So those two alone should peak my interest.

But you know, still a hard no.

I’m sorry but this looks like a big budget remake of a COLLEGE HUMOR sketch. And honestly, Sonic looks like a Grover Doll a serial killer retrofitted for sex games.

And look, I’ll admit, I don’t have a big emotional attachment to Sonic. I was never a big Sega guy. (I’m ride or die a Playstation boy and yes, I have FINAL FANTASY VII, ADVENT CHILDREN on DVD and yes, I cried like a widow during chunks of it.) But honestly, even if I was a Sonic Guy, I’d still be looking at this the way a millennial would look at THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE.

No.

Just no.